I have bears in baskets on my work table waiting to be sewn together or stuffed. There is a big grey bear sitting next to them keeping an eye on it all. I also have a small collection of bears from the years past waiting to find new homes soon.
I’ve been busy these past few weeks, even if I don’t have much to show for it. It finally feel like my momentum and making courage have returned after a spring blighted with self doubt. Things are in fact happening. Slowly yes. But happening all the same.
Here we are now in July, summer is here and school’s out for my littles until September. And so for now, my energy and love and care will be being poured into my wee ones for the next eight weeks. They’re still so little – just 4 and 8 – and they’re all love and squabbles and play and mess and chaos.
Since I got out of hospital back in April, I had been getting used the weekdays of May and June when I could spend long stretches at my work table, even work a little in the evenings too.
This right now, this love and play and energy and chaos is just as good. No, it’s better. It’s rich and full. And exhausting, yes. But I love it.
In the next eight weeks, small pockets of time and energy may arise when I can steal myself away and do some hand sewing. Or work through that big to do list scribbled in my diary. But if I can’t, it doesn’t matter. The mohair bears can wait for now. My children can’t. And when the autumn comes again, I shall hopefully have time and energy to put into some new mohair bears.